When Your Dog Smells Like Fish
April 17, 2020 — 38 Days Since WHO Declared COVID-19 a Pandemic
Who even knew?
When your dog smells like fish
It just might be COVID stress
And, for us, that’s how it started
With a malodorous milieu
Then life began to cancel
NBA, March Madness scrapped
Tom Hanks cast away again and
Our 80-something parents left home alone
How bizarre, especially for the young
The warnings, the washing, the lockdown
Can we still play hoops in the driveway?
When the college kids return
All lathered in sanitizer the
British boyfriend says, “It’s lock a moo-vie!”
Globally it was becoming a sad, scary picture
How many lives lost, how many jobs to be lost?
As the wife hooks up her tele-therapy
Relieve the anal sacs, advised Google
That’s where a dog holds its angst
Cue the country’s run on TP
Middle school, zoom courses, Tik Tok
Crafting an emergency corporate message
Waiting and waiting for the approval
All the sudden we’re front porch special agents
Thanks for the package, now drop it carefully
And slowly back away from the house
The numbers climb, and they’re grim
But they’re still numbers, still so surreal
Should we be ordering takeout?
Craving leadership, we get more Honey Boo Boo
It’s still all about him; Aw, how deplorable
Pass the Cabernet, and give us the Fauci
Out for a run, resist the farmer’s blow
And think about how the dog could know
That sixth sense or just a bowel on furlough?
Daughter turns 13, a real quaranTEEN
With a drive-by, b-day honking parade
Each car drops a card, and a teary smile
Work continues, but only for some
Gotta keep the doors open ‘til July
Trying to pitch what matters most
For most, corona causes mild fever, cough
For others, especially elders, more severe
Including pneumonia, which can lead to death
Guilty about the stay-cation vibe
But Better Call Saul and drinking games now saves lives
Cheers, the test on our niece came up a “no”
Care, coordination, communication takes unity
But living in a time of MAGA fear, Brexit pride
Pope Francis calls for a global ceasefire – brilliant!?
Parents still feeling fine, but dad jokes
It will end in suicide or homicide
And the body you find will be mine
On the upside, how ‘bout that environment
Clearer skies expected in China all month
Just don’t breathe too deep
What’s the lesson in a country divided?
With the proud embrace of self-righteousness
Anti-establishment, anti-intellectualism, anti-empathy
All the sudden, we want everyone tested
But don’t give that stimulus to just anyone
Ah, capitalism in the end times
We have to be more accountable
To each other and for each other
The C-19 heroes just do it, man
How ‘bout we all take ownership
Because more will die unnecessarily
While we continue to stream our favorites
Speaking of, what did I just hear on Netflix?
A line that hurts like only the truth can
Delivered by none better than Anthony Hopkins
“I’ve told you, Bernard. Never place your trust in us.
We’re only human. Inevitably, we will disappoint you.”
Hmm, not ending on a high note
But some things are looking up
Our dog, Bernard, now smells like bacon
—Dave Whitaker, Editor/Writer/Poet/Communications Guru/Husband/Dad/Dog Lover
For the most recent post, click here.